why?

Today dont know why i have a bad mood.
most of my relatives back for chinese new year. i didn't accompany them much. instead i showed my 'black face'. the same face also i showed to my friends. i was not purposely act like that. i just feel having a bad mood. no matter will they see this, i want to say sorry to all of them.

firstly, i talked something wrong that hurt my mom. a 莫须有的罪名.
then, i scold my small brother for his driving technique even though it was quite ok. and i also showed a 不耐烦的 face to my sister.
Then when i want to go to church to practice song and was going to be late, i scold my small brother again because did not know where he put the car's key. i think some of my ah Chims(uncles' wife) that come from far also heard my angry voice.
on the way to church, the gate did not open so need to go in through another gate. but i missed the gate twice because the lighting was too dim. then i blame for that also. these days i not feel like to serve God. now i feel playing piano is a burden for me. especially during festivals when i need to accompany my dad or grandma to go to church. because if i play piano i need to go early and can't accompany them. i am too used to play piano in my hometown church until i am 麻木and don't know appreciate it. i do not thank God but instead i complain and see it as a burden.
then when i reached church, everyone was there. i did not apologize for my lateness but instead had a 'black face'. i think they can feel it. qun feng greeted me but i did not greet back , just giving him a 假假的笑. actually i can't force myself to smile.. my mood was too bad.. and in the same time i can't explain for this bad mood.
when i backed, i also gave my uncles 皮笑肉不笑的笑.
i am not purposely like that. i am not used to like that. i also dont know why. sorry to my family, my relatives and my peer church friends...
and sorry to God... i am too麻木to live as a good Christian now... tell me why